doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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