i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
