just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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