In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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