I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize