I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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