Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
