SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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