you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
