I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
