Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
