I need help removing her.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
