I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
