We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
