Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
