i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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