I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize