He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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