Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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