Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
