i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
