apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
honey bunches of taint.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
