yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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