she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
