i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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