Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
