i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I think my moral compass just broke
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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