You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
