they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
