new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
FUCK WHALES
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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