Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Randomize
