Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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