He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize