I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
