Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
i think im in europe. pls send help
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
