You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
