Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Randomize
