I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
