I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
do herpes really smell.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
