No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
