You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
