First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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