I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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