Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She even gives head with a lisp.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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