So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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