So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
