I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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