i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I believe in your delicious
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
