So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
