Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
