Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
