Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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