you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
