If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
