Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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