3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I believe in your delicious
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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