I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
