is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
