You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
