I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
