it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
