Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
