Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize