p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
