I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
