Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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