this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
