So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
